AfterlifeData.com

Key Finding 118 - The biggest influence the past loved ones on earth have upon spirits who are crossed over occurs when those that remain on earth hold on with such grief and to such a degree that it does not allow the person on earth to move forward and it keeps the spirit on the other side too earthbound to move forward in their life as well--into their new spirit life.

Afterlife 101 Section, Chapter 4: Communication from earthlings

Question: How are spirits in heaven affected by the thoughts of their past loved ones on earth?

Spirit Guide: The biggest influence the past loved ones on earth have upon spirits who are crossed over is those that remain on earth holding on with such grief and to such a degree that it does not allow neither the person on earth to move forward and it keeps the spirit on the other side too earthbound to move forward in their life as well--into their new spirit life. We would say that this is the greatest effect those left on earth have on the spirits. Many times such spirits who have crossed over who have been in the public eye and people on earth have a sense of worshiping these spirits for whoever they were, whether they were great leaders, or entertainers, or just personalities. Or whether it's private citizens and just family members who build a shrine.

These are ways that do not allow the spirit to be as free as it could be. There comes a point in time when the spirit itself will talk to its loved ones and ask them to let them be free or a message will be directed to the loved ones of something that would help release that earthly bond. To individuals who have had monuments built in their names and fans continue to go and worship these individuals, there will be some who were so connected to earth that it will take them in earth terms a much longer time to be released. But, generally speaking, all spirits will realize that it is not the fans who are keeping them earthbound but their need to continue to feel that worship towards them. And they will too eventually realize that it is no longer a need as a spirit being as it was as an earth being.

Question: Are there good thoughts from humans on earth that can have good results for spirits in heaven?

Spirit Guide: Most definitely. As you know, as you have experienced in the love and the forgiveness that you sent to your mother, it helped her move from a place that was where she entered because of committing suicide. And her guilt and shame that was still connected to earth did not release her into her full spirit being and your love and your forgiveness and your desire to let her know what she meant to you on this life on earth helped release her to move on into her full spirit being. The understanding that you have come to know about life after life on earth has been a way of giving your late wife a way of moving forward instead of how it might have been for you had you not understood about the continuance of spirit moving on. So what oftentimes a loved one feels will help move the spirit or it can hinder the spirit.

Question: Can a human make contact with a spirit thought to be in heaven even though that spirit has already reincarnated back into human form?

Spirit Guide: Most definitely, because what you are connecting with is the essence of the person that you knew in human life and that essence will always remain in the spirit world even though it will come back to earth in another human form. When a spirit returns to earth in a human form the essence of all of its past personalities remain in the spirit world, and will occasionally come back in a deja vu form once in a while. But in essence when you wish to contact a loved one that you knew in the form it was in the past life on earth you are still connecting to the entire being of that personality.

Question: Can a human cause thoughts to be transmitted to an individual in the spirit world that they never knew on earth?

Spirit Guide: Not without the agreement of the spirit on the other side. Communication is very easy but just as you living on earth, if anybody wanted to contact you for any reason that you did not know it could become very complicated and very time-consuming. So in the same manner it is very similar to that with the spirit on the other side. If you lived on earth and loved Walt Disney and you wanted to communicate a thought to him, though you had never met him, you could communicate the thought of thankfulness for what this individual has created on earth but it is not something that you are awaiting a reply for. You are just telling that individual thank you. But as far as carrying a full conversation on, that without the approval of the spirit does not happen.

Question: Why has it been designed for communication with the afterlife to be so hard? Why are we not able to communicate daily with clarity to them?

Spirit Guide: We are able to communicate daily with clarity with the other side and the spirit world. But for humans we have not been allowed to come into your consciousness as openly and freely as we now can for it has taken you so long to evolve and because there have been so many humans upon your earth who have done everything they can to shut the doors of any communication, of any understanding, of any experiences other than the third-dimensional world. Not all of this has been bad, for again we say you have not been evolved of a spiritual consciousness to accept that. But as you become evolved now and more independent there is not any individual who does not have the ability to communicate with those on the other side, and as you begin to observe events and experiences that are taking place on your earth, you see that more and more individuals are seeing the signs, are seeing the messages, are hearing the words and knowing that yes they are communicating with loved ones on the other side.

Question: From the point of view of those on the other side, what are the best techniques that humans can use or practice in order to improve their own ability to communicate with the other side?

Spirit Guide: We would say that that's a multi-answer question.

First there are those who have come to your earth who just have the ability, they have been able to retain a connection from the other side that's just as natural for them as it is for you humans to breathe. You all have this ability, you all just don't retain that connection to be able to communicate with the other side. The path to connecting as a human to the spiritual side of life is to be willing to open up your heart, to be willing to let go of all restrictions you have been told from life-time to life-time to life-time, of there not being anything but earthlings and that you are the highest form there is. This is a rather ridiculous thought when you look at all you have on your earth and you look beyond your earth and know that there are many connections that can be made with your spirituality connecting to the other side. You all have that ability, you all can tap into that and open the door to walk that path. For each individual there are different ways of doing this.

There are those of you that are comfortable with groups and with teachers who bring you together to be able to share, to help you learn to close down your earth world, to go into your spiritual world through meditation, and to help you open up the other dimensions of your life that you have kept the door shut on. It is your responsibility to determine the teachers that you will use, and, as we say, it is your responsibility though you feel like you may not be getting answers from your earth angels or from your spirit guides. Always ask--"Please help guide and direct me to the right teachers. Help me to be able to discern the energy that is there."--as you are working with spirit teachers on earth and becoming involved with various support groups who have already begun or who want to begin this spiritual journey. You have a responsibility and your responsibility is again to ask for the correct guidance and direction to follow as you begin searching for teachers and mentors on earth.

Then there are those of you who are not comfortable with groups, who feel your journey as a solitary journey at this point in your life. Again, ask your spirit guides for the right direction in finding the proper literature that is written to help guide you on your journey through a totally spiritual connection and to have the right books, the right tapes, the right messages, and the right individuals to walk into your life. Once you say you are ready for this and you are willing to accept as you talk to your spirit angels, messages are coming to you in ways that you would never anticipate. It could be a radio talk show, it could be something on television, it could be a book that landed on your lap, it could be a message from someone you're sitting next to at a lunch counter. Just be open to receiving these messages and also know that you are receiving them even if you don't feel like it's been a bolt of lightning that has hit you. These messages come in very subtle ways. But if this is your choice, go into your meditative state, ask that your heart be opened, ask that you be protected by the light and love of our Creator, ask that you have the right spirit guides and earth angel guides, and then ask that the right people on earth and the right messages come into your life. It may take some of you longer than others but you will be able, if it is your heart's desire, to open the doors that have been closed.

Question: What is it about some people that makes them extraordinary in their ability to communicate with the other side?

They are no more extraordinary than the next person but they have been willing to open their hearts, to accept their other dimensions to life beyond those that you see on earth, and to accept that life does continue after earth. They make a strong spiritual connection with their own spirit guides, with their love and thankfulness to God the Creator. What makes them, as you might say, more exceptional is the fact that they are willing to accept this knowledge, not as a belief but as a knowing and are willing to walk that path, take that journey. Again, we will say there are many of you on earth who have not lost the connection as you reincarnated in this life and so it is a natural thing for you. And then there are those of you who ask to take the journey and open your heart up and let go of all restraints and restrictions that you in the three-dimensional world put on yourself.

Agreement: 118

The Spirits Book-Modern English Edition by Kardec

Spirits are touched by the sustained memory and deep regret of their loved ones. However, persistent and excessive grief causes them considerable distress. They see in it a lack of faith in the future and confidence in God. The survivors' grief could even prevent the departed spirit from a peaceful adaptation to its new reality.

Here and Hereafter by Borgia

The spirit world disapproves of mourning in every shape and form. Genuine, heartfelt sorrow is a human emotion that none of us is secure from, but so much mourning is spurious. Here we can see just what is taking place in the minds of the mourners. Mourning as a rule is utterly selfish, because people are not sorry for the soul who has passed on except in so far as it is thought that he is now infinitely worse off 'dead'. The great majority of people are sorry for themselves at the physical separation, not happy and glad that their friend has gone to a greater, grander, more beautiful life. Of course, I am now speaking of those who are destined for the realms of light. With those whose destination here is in the realms of darkness we are not treating at the moment. Even where the sorrow is perfectly genuine and inspired by true affection, every effort should be made to curb it. The soul newly arrived in spirit lands will feel the determined drag of the thoughts of those who are left behind, unless those thoughts are constructive thoughts for the present and future well-being of the friend who has gone. Thoughts of the wrong kind will draw the soul back like a magnet and prevent it from making a steady and natural transition into its proper sphere. It is no exaggeration to say that it would be immeasurably better, things being what they are upon earth, if mourners on earth were to pass into a complete state of physical insensibility for some days after the passing of a friend into the spirit world. There would then be no danger of the thoughts of others circumscribing the actions of the newly-departed soul.

Here and Hereafter by Borgia

The spirit body may take some days of your time before it becomes completely separated from the earthly body, and it may be hindered very much by the combined thoughts of the sorrowers who are participants in the dismal rites. Instead of departing from the earthly sphere, the discarnate one will be attracted to the scene of obsequial activities, and more than likely will be saddened himself by what he is witnessing and by the sorrow of those he has left behind. He will feel a heavy weight within him of the separation that has come about, and perhaps being ignorant of what has befallen him, he will be doubly distressed, and even trebly distressed by the fact that he speaks to his friends but they cannot hear him. And how great a difference a little knowledge would make!

Here and Hereafter by Borgia

Let the prayers be addressed to the Father of us all, that help may be sent to the soul who has passed on, and that the Father will also aid those who are offering their ministrations to the newly-arrived one. We need divine assistance in our work just as do you upon earth, and often are our powers taxed to their utmost when we come to aid those who are making their advent into spirit lands as permanent residents. Long recitations from the psalmists, however beautiful may be their theme, are perfectly useless to us and to the newcomer we are helping. They produce no effect whatever upon the endeavors we are making. A short prayer, efficiently directed, asking for help, will bring an instantaneous answer. That response will be invisible to you on earth, but to us here it means a downpouring of light and power that we most need for the case in hand. Pray that the soul may soon receive the light of understanding of the new situation in which he finds himself, if he is entirely ignorant of spirit truths, and that he may be happy and contented in the life upon which he has just embarked.

Here and Hereafter by Borgia

From the fact that a mourner is spending time at the grave, indulging in melancholy thoughts of the soul who has passed on, and contemplating that a few feet of earth are now separating them, and so on, you will infer, in such a case, that the mourner has no acquaintance with spirit truths, or else he would never think that the departed one really lies there himself. We in the spirit world know that a soul who gradually yields to such melancholy importunities of thought as are being sent out from the earth, knows very little of spirit truths. And being in such case, when a soul returns to the earth and stands in the presence of the mourner and tries to talk to and comfort the one who is left behind, he becomes acutely disturbed in mind when he discovers that his voice cannot be heard on the earth. His words are falling unheeded upon the air. The thoughts of sorrow and despair pass and re-pass in a constant stream until at last both persons become exhausted with the emotional strain. The mourner will eventually leave the graveside, the newly-arrived spirit will return whence he came, and both are filled with inconsolable sadness. The whole performance has done no good whatever on the contrary, it has had a very bad effect upon both parties. And what is still worse, the episode will be repeated and repeated until we on our side can instil some reason into our distracted friend, and show him the futility of the proceedings. Better counsels will eventually prevail, and the visitations to the resting place of the physical body will cease. In the meantime, the soul has passed through a period of untold misery that could have been avoided if only those who were left behind upon earth had possessed themselves of the necessary knowledge of spirit truths.

Disagreement: 118

Here and Hereafter by Borgia

From the moment of passing until the physical body is finally committed to the earth, and frequently for some time afterwards, the thoughts of the mourners are concentrated in sorrow upon the departed one. The various performances that comprise the 'last rites' add force to this sorrow, enhance it, and give it greater directive power. Where this feeling of sorrow is genuine it will unfailingly reach the recently departed soul.

{STILL IN PLANNING: At a later date still to be determined as discussion will ensue as to whether this is really an issue and whether the disagreement really constitutes a disagreement. No prospective questions have been formulated.}